Saturday, February 18, 2006

Room 101 - another keeper

They'll none of them be missed.

1) People who think there are non-mathematical questions that have only one answer and then rant and rave and bluster because somebody proposes an alternative.

2) Any -isms that suggest a single solution whether it be the dictatorship of the proletariat, the return of Christ to Earth, the removal of "immigrants", or the wearing of beanie hats wrapped in aluminium foil will cure all the world's problems.

3) People who refuse to believe that human beings individually or collectively are capable of solving their own problems.

4) People who refuse to take responsibility for their actions or inactions.

5) Broccolli

6) Politicians who have any motivations other than the best interests of all of their constituents.

7) This viral bronchitis I have at the moment.

8) My own inability to concentrate on sitting down and writing my novel then selling it. (Or perhaps the reverse, selling then writing)

9) The petty bureaucrat at my local train provider who decided that the start point for trains to my local station should be moved from Liverpool Street to Stratford.

10) Conformity.

12 Comments:

Blogger flyingfinn said...

Tattoos an piercings are on my list. They should be banned. I'm sorry, it may insult some, but why mutilate the human body? I especially hate those tattoos some girls have just above their bum crack. And then people say it makes them individual, and crap like that.

Saturday, 18 February, 2006  
Blogger Span Ows said...

Hmmmm...broccolli...if you liquidise it with a few other goodies you may get over your loathing.

When I first read this I also 'read' (7) This vile broccolli...until the brain fully clocked on.

Conformity..that's a good one, oh and BTW you're not the only R5L blogger trying to finish a book! (not me though...no patience)

Sunday, 19 February, 2006  
Blogger Span Ows said...

P.S. Agree with Finny here, I have yet to see a piercing 'add' anything to anybody.

Some tattoos though I like...but, as FF says, in no way are they 'indiviual'.

Sunday, 19 February, 2006  
Blogger Alcuin said...

A few months ago, I endured a hellishly long trip via the railways from Southport, via Wigan and Stockport to London, in the company of a young Scot who told me how he'd obtained his tattoo.

He'd taken the design, based on some Indian symbols to the tattooist and agreed to come back the next week so the work could be done.

On the appointed day, he was lying down on the couch while the chap was preparing the ink or whatever they do. Some girl had just finished her own tattoo and was snivvelling because it hurt so much.

"Scottish, eh?" says the man... the BNP won a couple of seats in Scotland.

"Ay", says my friend, "But only in Dumfries and they're all sheep botherers there, they'll nae tak any seats in the Central valley".

"Oh, why's that?" asks the man, beginning to work on my friend's tattoo.

"Because Central Scotland's full of people who'll vote Labour because their great great granddaddy voted Labour".

"So would you vote for 'em?"

"What, Labour or the BNP?"

"BNP"

"no"

"Why not?"

"Coz their a bunch of idiots".

"Funnily enough", said the man, "I'm a member of the BNP and so's my mate there," pointing to the other tattooist.

The snivvelling girl stopped snivvelling and laughed, "You're in trouble now", she sang.

As it goes, the tattooist was thoroughly professional but my young friend did have to endure a long and dull explanation about why voting BNP was good for Scotland for the next 45 minutes.

Sunday, 19 February, 2006  
Blogger flyingfinn said...

lol. Nice anecdote.

Sunday, 19 February, 2006  
Blogger Span Ows said...

hahaha...good one, has he actually checked whta the tattoo says? If it's on his back it may be something he didn't expect!...:-)

Monday, 20 February, 2006  
Blogger Alcuin said...

No, it's on his shoulder. If it says something other than he thought, it's his fault, not the tattooist's because it looks like the design he gave the tattooist to work from.

Monday, 20 February, 2006  
Blogger Six Years Late said...

I thought you threw your novel away. I distinctly remmeber you mentioning that once

Wednesday, 22 February, 2006  
Blogger Six Years Late said...

Disagree on the piercings I'm afraid. I haven't worn earrings for a lng time but I loved them when I did and I have thought about putting one back in just recently.

Wednesday, 22 February, 2006  
Blogger Alcuin said...

I didn't throw it away 6, I know exactly where it is... Rotterdam. Now though, I'm trying to work on a second.

Wednesday, 22 February, 2006  
Blogger Alcuin said...

I must say, I've thought about getting my ears pierced, just so I can get a nice pair of hammer and sickle earrings.

Wednesday, 22 February, 2006  
Blogger Alcuin said...

Damn... February 2006, nearly six years ago and I had bronchitis that wouldn't go away and now I have it too. I think I might have to see a doctor.

Saturday, 24 December, 2011  

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