Suicide - another keeper
Sorry folks, I've just seen this thread and I notice there are huge numbers of threads modded. I can imagine what they say and frankly, I don't want to know.
I have in the past considered suicide. In fact, back in the 1986 0r 7 I seriously considered becoming a suicide bomber. I'd been unemployed for about two years (apart from two weeks as a security guard) and was getting to my wits' end. Even the German Democratic Republic laughed when I sought political asylum (having read that they had zero unemployment).
In the end, two things stopped me. The first is, at base, I'm far too arrogant to let my self-esteem sink that low. At the end of the day, I could not convince myself that I was worthless, and I knew that there were people who would be upset if I was not around anymore.
The second stage was the realisation that my unemployment was a result of decisions taken by a limited number of individuals and it would not be fair for me to take out my anger on those who were innocent in this matter. I spent so long trying to work out who to blame that I realised I could use the effort I was making more constructively. I have to say, I am EXTREMELY glad there was nobody around to point me in the "right" direction.
In the end, Augustus, depression just isn't a good enough reason to kill yourself, in fact, nothing is. It's an act of violence against everybody who loves you.
Don't do it.
To quote the great philosopher Geldof, "Suicide leaves such a bad aftertaste in the soul".
I have in the past considered suicide. In fact, back in the 1986 0r 7 I seriously considered becoming a suicide bomber. I'd been unemployed for about two years (apart from two weeks as a security guard) and was getting to my wits' end. Even the German Democratic Republic laughed when I sought political asylum (having read that they had zero unemployment).
In the end, two things stopped me. The first is, at base, I'm far too arrogant to let my self-esteem sink that low. At the end of the day, I could not convince myself that I was worthless, and I knew that there were people who would be upset if I was not around anymore.
The second stage was the realisation that my unemployment was a result of decisions taken by a limited number of individuals and it would not be fair for me to take out my anger on those who were innocent in this matter. I spent so long trying to work out who to blame that I realised I could use the effort I was making more constructively. I have to say, I am EXTREMELY glad there was nobody around to point me in the "right" direction.
In the end, Augustus, depression just isn't a good enough reason to kill yourself, in fact, nothing is. It's an act of violence against everybody who loves you.
Don't do it.
To quote the great philosopher Geldof, "Suicide leaves such a bad aftertaste in the soul".
posted by ur.alcuin@googlemail.com at 11:39 AM
5 Comments:
Hello Alcuin.
I am so very glad that someone took the time to write a personal slant on this today, and morevover, a mesage for The Emperor.
I have not been able to put him from my mind all day.....
You hear that Augustus? Not all day.
If you matter just that much to remote 'friends' and people that simply appreciate the mind and the humour, imagine a world without you......
For your part Alcuin, I would like you to know that I respect you very much as a poster on the boards, and I'm glad that I have discovered you have a blog!
I hope you won't mind if I visit.
Lena x
Of course Lena, feel free to come by any time. Always welcome
Ahha!...you answer the girlies when they post!
Good man!...;-)
I went to read this thread and was shocked. I still think Augustus did it as an experiment (forgive me if I'm wrong!!!) but I too wondered at the many deleted messages...
Crikey! You've been posting and I've been keeping a low profile. My apologies! Well done, keep it up and all that!
Now I'll read them...:-)
Oh bloody hell! Great post. But I wish you'd posted the link - took me ages to find the damn thing.
Hope you're Ok now Aluin.
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