Monday, July 24, 2006


I've said that I'm a frustrated writer so I thought I'd say a bit about the attempts I've made in the past (or since I left school in any case... school projects don't count).

1977-82 From age 17 to 22, I wrote over three hundred poems. I was quite proud of them but in the end, I gave most of them to my friend Linda who took them home to St Paul, Mn. I wrote poetry easily and had something of a talent for it. I have always enjoyed playing with words and the discipline of formal poetry (whether sonnets, quatrains or even haiku) concentrated my mind wonderfully.

1982-85 For a while, I continued carrying a book around to jot down ideas for poems (or as I now told myself, lyrics but I also started trying to write short stories, including one, "What Would Lucy Do?" that formed part of the "Cultural Product" required for my degree.

1986-7 I continued trying to sell short stories to the only markets available to me at the time "The Gate", "Interzone" and "Aboriginal SF". I also wrote a couple of scripts on spec for 2000AD but they never even returned the stamped, self-addressed envelopes. Apart from 2000 AD, I collected a few rejection slips but continued until Interzone sent me a rejection slip that said, "Thank you for letting us see "Seventeen", it's a good story and moves along well but is not suitable for Interzone". That was it. No chance for a real "apprenticeship" because I'd written something that was good enough but there wasn't a market available to me for which it was suitable.

1987-8 Around this time, I joined the cabaret troupe, "Bored Experience" and wrote and performed in some sketches, some of which went down well with audiences in London and Newcastle but eventually, I had to get a proper job and so could not cope with Bored Experience as well. It wasn't a ladder to stardom anyway, we managed to get exactly ONE equity contract.

1989 onward
That's when I began trying to write novels (and screenplays). There were several attempts.


This was an attempt at a reprise of "What Would Lucy Do". It's the story of a thalidomide style disaster that left some kids twisted physically and/or mentally, many more dead and the lucky few gifted with psychic powers. The main characters were Alison and her stillborn sister, Lucy, living in a world that was falling apart at the seams as Bidonvilles full of refugees grew along the Thames. I managed about 30 pages.

John the Bomb/Wonderland

(Several of my attempts have more than one title as it changed during construction. John, the central character is a human being brought up by a computer, who has programmed him to destroy an arcology (part themepark and part gated community) called Wonderland as part of the revenge of a scientist kicked out of the cosy world of the gated elite around the turn of the Millennium. I made about 14,000 words or 55 pages.

The Book

A deliberate attempt to write a book for young adults. It's the story of Elvis Ryan, an unpopular child at a comprehensive school, who buys a book from a second hand bookshop, which turns out to be the lost grimoire of a notorious wizard burned for heresy by the Spanish Inquisition in 16th century Mexico. The Wizard, who calls himself Tlaloc after the Aztec god of the rain, tries to live again in Elvis's body. I managed about 23 pages.

The Void/Moth/Sodium Light

Kate Christian is a policewoman trying to solve a series of grisly murders in Tottenham. She's also trying to fight off the unwanted advances of a male colleague. There are real vampires in this story but there is also a serial killer who believes in vampires and goes around staking young women who are NOT vampires. The main real vampire is a KGB sleeper at a loose end after the KGB ceased to exist. I finished this one and sent it to two agents. There is one full copy of the manuscript but it's in Rotterdam.

Babylon Rule

Part 'how to' book for poor people and part screenplay. I think I wrote about 10 minutes of this. It traced the rise of our hero from MC to Prime Minister.

Rapunzel/The Promised Child

A retelling of the Rapunzel Story in space. I'm pretty proud of this actually, it's a screenplay but sadly only about an hour long.

There's more recent stuff as well. I haven't written more than a few pages of these but plenty notes.

The Mongol Gallery - told from the point of view of Kees van Helsing, a descendant of Abraham who meets a man who has sold his voice to a demon in return for bizarre powers relating to painting.


A people trafficker begins a new business.... transporting damned souls BACK across the River Styx.


Blogger Span Ows said...

There's a lot of promising looking stuff there Mr Edwards! You should try a bit harder to get something published! (yes I know that's what you've been telling yourself for 3 decades!)

I seem to remeber you mentioning on the MB something about porn from the lesbian woman's point of view or some such erotica....sounds good to me! :-)

Friday, 28 July, 2006  
Blogger Alcuin said...

Thanks Span.

As for the Lesbian stuff. I wasn't counting "Janie"'s stuff (although to be fair I DID think of writing "Cargo" as "Janie".

Friday, 28 July, 2006  
Blogger Lucy said...

Your a footy man Mr Edwards, fancy a 5live league?
details on my blog...

Thursday, 17 August, 2006  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

I like the sound of Cargo best but you've given us less about it, is it still 'live' as 'twere?

Saturday, 02 September, 2006  
Blogger Alcuin said...

They're all "live" to some extent, the difference between Cargo and the others is, it's being written by one of my other personae.

Saturday, 02 September, 2006  
Blogger Alcuin said...

Well, looks like I'm still working on the Mongol Gallery five years later, initially as a screenplay. Wish me Luck.

Saturday, 15 January, 2011  
Blogger Alcuin said...

Six years later and nothing much has changed. No more wonderful ideas. Life sucks

Saturday, 24 December, 2011  
Blogger Alcuin Edwards said...

And today is three more years later. I started writing my novel 'Seven Sins' (not mentioned above but both Janie and Kate Christian are mentioned as characters) on 1 April this year. I finished it on 29 April.

Yay me!

Wednesday, 30 April, 2014  
Blogger Alcuin Edwards said...

And on 18 December 2014 Seven Sins will be PUBLISHED! Hoorah!

Tuesday, 21 October, 2014  

Post a Comment

<< Home